


별이 빛나는 밤

by taeminki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, all the pairings are active/important!, side pairings? this fic doesn't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:23:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: Soulmates are meant to be in each other's lives.





	별이 빛나는 밤

Chan fell in love when Woojin kicked him in the face.

For the record, it was an accident. Woojin was sleeping in his bed and Chan was trying to wake him for breakfast. He'd brought a pancake with him-- covered in butter, slicking and sticking his fingers. He was munching on it, and he climbed up into his bed to wake Woojin. He shook him by the thigh. Chan didn't find out until later-- years later-- that Woojin happened to be in the midst of a nightmare, and, to him, Chan's hand was that of a monster. He kicked his leg out-- strong from practicing kendo-- and caught Chan's nose with the heel of his foot, just short of breaking it. Chan cried when he hit the ground-- because his nose hurt, because he bruised his knees and elbows on the way down, and because he dropped his pancake on the hard, wood floor.

Woojin clambered to the ground, a mess of tears himself-- because he bruised his knees on the floor, because he'd just woken from a nightmare, and because he hurt Chan. Chan was holding his nose and bleeding across his palms; he was blubbering about "Why did you kick me?" and pushing Woojin's hands away because he was unbelievably upset. Woojin whimpered and tried to comfort Chan, said "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" and Chan looked at him through tears-- frustrated and hurt, and stopped crying and stopped hurting and stopped _everything_  when he saw pretty white lights flash in Woojin's eyes. Woojin stopped, too. Silent tears rolled down each of their cheeks-- Woojin's fresh, while Chan's came from what was left of the thin sheen over his pupils. Chan's hands fell away from his eyes, fascinated by the stars in Woojin's eyes. Woojin cringed at the blood dripping down Chan's mouth. He started to stand, "Let's go to mom! You're hurt! Let's tell mom!" but Chan pulled him back down, and blinked at his eyes.

"You're bleeding, Chan, let's _go_." Woojin said. Chan wouldn't listen to him. Woojin cried a little more, " _Chan_ , come _on_ ," but suddenly Chan kissed him right on the mouth and Woojin shrieked because Chan got blood on his lip and Chan's mother finally came in the room, wondering what took so long-- and she gasped at the sight of her son bleeding from his nose, all down his chin. She fixed him up in no time-- washed his face and patched up his nose and tapped it from every side, wondering if it was broken and coming to the conclusion that _no_ , he was fine. (Years of training to become a doctor had taught her a lot-- given her a big advantage as a mother.) When she was done, Chan animatedly told her about the stars in Woojin's eyes-- all while holding Woojin's hand. (Woojin had an iron grip on Chan's fingers-- hadn't let go of him the whole time his mother was checking him, fixing him up. He was so scared that he'd hurt Chan beyond repair.)

The woman sat both boys down and talked to them about soulmates, and what it meant to have one, and how a pretty cluster of stars would appear on each of them in the same spot, and it would look exactly the same, and that was their mark-- that was their unique sign of love. She showed hers to the boys; it decorated her left knee, and she sat Chan down on it a moment later, and set Woojin on her right, and explained to them that having a soulmate simply meant having something that would always be there for you-- and Chan reached over, and asked, "You'll always be there for me, Woojin?" and Woojin hooked his finger over Chan's, "Of course."

Woojin was eleven. Chan was, too; and, already, they'd found each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"My constellation _looks_  like yours."

The words hadn't been prompted, and it took physically biting his tongue for Changbin to resist an annoyed huff. Changbin stopped coloring as he took a deep breath-- closed his eyes and calmed every nerve that had sparked at the words. _I just want to focus on my project, Jisung. Can you let me do that?_

"They're in different places," Changbin said shortly, with a hope that his words would conclude the topic of conversation. As much as Changbin hated the phrase, it rolled off his tongue easily. He'd barely even had to think about it; he'd said the same words a number of times before. Jisung had given him a number of responses to the words. Changbin hoped his response this time would be silence, but Jisung had used that one before, and he was always thinking of new things, "Maybe that was a mistake."

Changbin didn't miss a beat, "No, Jisung, it wasn't. The stars don't make mistakes."

 _The stars don't make mistakes_. Changbin's father told him that. He remembered sharing Jisung's concerns-- when he was twelve and his stars started decorating the back of his right hand. He excitedly placed his wrist in Jisung's hand, and waited a year for Jisung's stars to start appearing, too. However, Jisung's stars were on his left hand, not his right, and Changbin cried to his father, wondering why Jisung's stars were in a different place if they were soulmates. His father called him silly-- _boys can't be soulmates_. Changbin asked, _what if they can be? I want Jisung to be my soulmate!_  and his father told him to stop joking around; he wouldn't have a boy as a soulmate. The stars don't make mistakes, and certainly not mistakes like that.

"I think they do." Jisung said. He finally came into view when he plopped down in front of Changbin, placing his palms flat against the ground--so that the back of his hands faced the ceiling. The tips of his fingers were milliliters from touching the edge of Changbin's project; his left hand was placed terribly close to Changbin's right, and Changbin could see their similar array of stars. Changbin was forced to look up to avoid acknowledging their similarities. Jisung's eyes bore into his, just daring Changbin not to take him seriously, "I think we're supposed to be together, Changbin."

Changbin couldn't look at Jisung. He looked at his project, tried to block his peripheral so he didn't see the way his and Jisung's stars aligned, "It doesn't matter, Jisung. That's not-- what the stars want."

A weakness settled against Changbin, started at his hands and traveled up his shoulders, and he almost wanted to flatten against his project-- throw in the towel and give up his strength, but he would be a fool to do so. A certain exhaustion always came with conversations like this; but Changbin knew better than to cave. What would his father think? What would the stars do to him?

"I may not _see_  a galaxy when I look in your eyes, hyung, but I feel one."

A wrench turned Changbin's heart. He was shocked to tears-- looked up to a galaxy in Jisung's eyes. For years, he'd held up against Jisung's mulling over their constellations. Ever since Woojin and Chan had explained to them what soulmates were-- courtesy of information from Chan's mother-- Jisung had been _obsessed_  with the idea that Changbin was his. Changbin spent his time trying to convince Jisung otherwise. For a while now-- since he was fifteen-- he thought he should give it up.

He knew better, though. He _knew better_. A tear rolled down his cheek, and the plop of emotion against his project brought him back to reality. Changbin stood and disappeared into the dark of the night, leaving the galaxy behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeongin was fascinated with stars-- Jisung's, and Changbin's, and Seungmin's, and Hyunjin's, and the ones in the sky-- because he lacked a constellation of his own. He stopped being emotional about it years ago, but there was still that small tug of want for a soulmate, and that often led him to holding Jisung's hand, longingly tracing the pretty stars along the back of it. They were multiplying by the day; they had started to grown down toward Jisung's fingers. Jeongin asked him, "When do you stop getting more stars?" and Jisung guessed, "When I meet my soulmate."

It was different for everyone. Some got all of their stars at once. Some never stopped getting their stars. Some people were covered from head-to-toe with transparent stars that just barely showed when the light reflected off their skin. Jisung's stars were tinted blue and spread like wildfire over his hand. He counted at least three new stars every day.

"They twinkle, hyung!" Jisung said; and they didn't, but Jisung never corrected him regarding the markings.

"I bet mine would be bigger." Jeongin said. His body pivoted, and he lay his cheek against Jisung's hand, "I always imagine if I had a constellation, mine would go all over my back-- and my soulmate would have it all over their front. They would look like freckles-- like the freckles on Felix! But they would be black, not brown, and mine would sparkle just like yours."

Jisung eased his fingers into Jeongin's hair and slowly but surely began to pet him in comfort. He listened to all of the young boy's fantasies and wishes; and it broke his heart to hear a fifteen-year-old pine so heavily for love. He told Jeongin, "You're right, baby," and "I know, baby," until Jeongin sighed away his fantasies and apologized for talking so much, and Jisung told him not to-- "I understand."

"No, you don't, hyung-- you have a soulmate." Jeongin rubbed his eyes harshly. He hadn't cried, but Jisung had a feeling he might be starting to. Jisung held him, tucking his galaxy of a hand into Jeongin's jacket pockets, draping his ache of a chest over Jeongin's back. Jeongin didn't fight him.

"I don't have the right one." Jisung said quietly. Jeongin turned his head awkwardly, trying to look at him, "Huh?" but Jisung shook his head-- and Jeongin was young enough to focus on his own stray tears without noticing Jisung's.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _On behalf of the stars, I'm sorry;_  
_there just isn't a fate for the two of us._

Changbin looked up from the ending lines of his lyrical poem-- the beginning and the middle to which he had yet to write. He observed Seungmin and Hyunjin through the window opposite him, and wondered if the stars really did make mistakes.

Hwang Hyunjin had a constellation wrapped around his neck like a choker, and Kim Seungmin had one exactly like it. The two of them were sitting with some friends-- like Woojin and Chan, who Changbin knew personally, but also Lee Minho and Lee Felix, who Changbin had yet to meet-- and, unless Chan or Woojin introduce him to them, he likely never _would_.

Hyunjin was leaning forward to look at something on Felix's phone. Seungmin was sitting directly behind him, but he didn't seem to have an interest in whatever was happening between Felix and Hyunjin. Rather, he was looking around, observing the area. Seungmin was an observer by nature; Changbin had known this from a young age. Changbin almost thought to move before it was too late, but-- he didn't think quickly enough. Seungmin spotted him, and waved Changbin out, but Changbin shook his head. He didn't want the attention.

Hyunjin had just settled back against Seungmin's chest-- even reached back to bring Seungmin's arms forward around his waist-- when Seungmin got up, whispering something before his departure. In just a few moments, Seungmin was in the classroom, standing away from the window and gesturing for Changbin to join him.

"Why are you in here by yourself?" Seungmin asked, settling into one of the desks at the back of the classroom. Changbin sat in one next to him, a shrug on his shoulders. Seungmin leaned forward-- hunching his back to try to meet Changbin's eyes. He didn't actively search-- sat up straight and-- "You still haven't accepted Jisung, have you?"

Was his melancholy attitude _that_  telling? Did a sad, grey Changbin really fall in the same category as a Changbin that didn't have his Jisung? Changbin blinked a few times-- _his_ Jisung-- and supposed the two versions of himself really were the same.

"We're not soulmates." Changbin said. It had never sounded more wrong to say. Seungmin seemed to sense this, for a small, pitying smile formed on his silent lips. He asked Changbin, "Do you really think that?"

"I _know_  that." Changbin said. He showed Seungmin his hand, "Whoever has _this_ \-- she's my soulmate. I'm going to meet her one day, and prove you all wrong."

Changbin wasn't aware of the crack in his voice-- the emotion his words pulled-- until Seungmin reached over to wipe a tear away from his eye. Changbin slapped his hand away, and muttered "Sorry--" at the uncontrolled reaction. He silently chased his own tears away. Seungmin asked him, after giving him a moment, "Are _we_  really the ones you want to prove wrong? Wouldn't you rather prove your father--"

"I don't have to prove _anything_  to _anyone_." Changbin snapped. Seungmin held up his hands in surrender, and gave Changbin another minute. Changbin should learn not to trust Seungmin's silences, for they always came with heavier news, "Hyung, I... hate to tell you, but... I know someone with the same exact constellation as you. Same place, too."

"You know my soulmate?" Changbin asked, his eyes wide with excitement. _Finally_ , he thought-- _finally, I can prove them all wrong!_ \-- but the excitement faded as quickly as it had inflated, because Seungmin had this _look_  on his face. He let the silence fill the room again. Changbin didn't like this at all.

"I know your soulmate very well...." Seungmin looked at the desk, and closed his eyes for a moment. His next words were quiet, and heavy, "He's a very good friend of mine."

Changbin couldn't breathe for a moment. _He_. _He's_  a very good friend-- _he_. Changbin tried to say it, but his breath got in the way of his throat. He breathed in, and couldn't breathe out. He gasped, and he asked, "He? _He?_ My soulmate-- you know _him?_ "

Silence.

"He's taken." Seungmin said. He had tears in his eyes. _He_. Changbin's soulmate was another _he_. Changbin couldn't believe it. His father was going to hate him. His father was going to start to believe that the stars could make mistakes, and if his _father_  believed it-- the stars could make mistakes. The stars could make mistakes so Jisung very well could be his soulmate--but that wasn't supposed to happen. No. No, his stars made a mistake because his soulmate wasn't a boy. His soulmate was some girl he had yet to meet. He just had to look for her.

"Why--?" Changbin finally registered _taken_. He's taken? _He?_ He's _taken?_  He's taken? _He's taken?_  Changbin blinked, "He-- what? Why-- _he's_ \-- mine--?"

"Hyunjin is--" Seungmin's lips trembled, shaking his voice as well, "Changbin, I'm so sorry. I should have told you earlier, but-- Hyunjin and I aren't in love. I meant to talk to you about it, because Jisung always told us you refused to be convinced that people could be romantic with people who weren't their soulmates, but then Jisung met _his_ soulmate, and--"

"Jisung met his soulmate?" Changbin rushed. Seungmin nodded. Changbin whipped his head around the room as if Jisung's soulmate was there-- as if Changbin would meet him, but it was just him and Seungmin-- him, Seungmin, and the tears streaming down both of their cheeks. Changbin felt weak. His fingers curled against the table and he couldn't even hold a frustrated fist-- "Who? Who is it?"

"That's another thing." Seungmin said. He chewed at his bottom lip, "Changbin, it's so complicated-- can you come over later? Please? Hyunjin and I can explain everything."

"But--" Changbin started. Seungmin's eyes pleaded with him, and Changbin couldn't disrespect Seungmin's desperate tears. He told Seungmin, "Okay--" and Seungmin stood. He told Changbin, "You can sleep over tonight, okay? I think you might want to," and Changbin was grateful, because Seungmin was right. He didn't want to have to go home tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seungmin used to believe in soulmates the way Changbin was manipulated into believing in soulmates.

Seungmin was an orphan-- how should he have known better? No one bothered to explain love to orphans, and they had no opportunity to learn it for themselves. Seungmin was fifteen when he had his first real experience with any type of love-- singing his way into a pretty private school and meeting Hwang Hyunjin, who had a constellation wrapped around his neck that perfectly reflected Seungmin's. Seungmin's head tumbled over his heels as he got to know Hyunjin, and he swore he was in love-- because Hyunjin, to the best of his ability, explained love, and soulmates, and made him feel secure as he tried to fill in the blanks.

The tricky thing, though, and the part Hyunjin never explained, was that neither of them got to see the galaxy in each other's gaze. It was only when Lee Felix came along that Seungmin finally found out his perception of soulmates wasn't accurate.

"It's hard to explain," Seungmin told Changbin--because he'd had to figure it out for himself; and, really, it was only an assumption-- a personal hypothesis. He spent hours researching the galaxy only to find out that it was different for everyone, that it meant something different to everyone. He knew for certain that-- "A galaxy appears in someone's eyes when you start to fall in love with them -- but only if the stars believe a relationship between you and that other person will last for a long time."

Hyunjin hummed beside Seungmin. He added to the statement, "It _could_  be your soulmate. Actually, most people end up falling in love with their soulmate-- but it's not always like that. I never saw a galaxy in Seungmin's eyes, but I saw it in Felix almost right away."

It had only taken a month for Hyunjin to fall in love with Felix. He remembered how scary it was. He was only sixteen, and he had his soulmate tucked under his arm, but he was looking into a galaxy of love a few feet away. He felt so guilty-- felt like he'd lied to Seungmin-- felt like something had gone wrong. He avoided Seungmin and Felix for twenty days-- until all three of them sat together and talked-- until Hyunjin confessed that he saw stars in Felix's eyes-- and Felix told them that he'd seen the same in Hyunjin-- and Seungmin said he'd never seen stars in anyone's eyes--what did it even mean to _see stars in someone's eyes?_  One rocky explanation later, Hyunjin had lost a friend for three months and gained a boyfriend for four-going-on-forever.

"So... you're in love with my soulmate?" Changbin asked. Hyunjin held out a hand, silently asking for Changbin's. Changbin showed him, and Hyunjin remembered kissing this hand too many times, and promising him that a soulmate mark meant next to nothing compared to the love they shared-- except that hand was attached to Lee Felix, and only looked like the one that was currently against Hyunjin's palm. Hyunjin nodded in Changbin's direction, "I am."

"Lee Felix is my soulmate." Changbin muttered. He shook his head violently, frustrated, "What does a soulmate even _mean_ , then? Why is a soulmate significant if you're not even guaranteed love from them?"

"No, you _are!_ I _think_  you are. I don't-- know--" Hyunjin sighed, gathering himself, "Changbin. Soulmates _do_  mean something, they just don't mean the something that we _think_  they mean. No one has an answer because it's different for everyone, but _everyone's_  soulmate is important to them in one way or another."

Seungmin remembered the three lonely months he'd spent trying to figure out what soulmates meant. Seungmin had researched and researched what it meant to be a soulmate when he'd been avoiding his-- when Changbin was falling into a struggling state of refusing anyone's help-- when he felt more alone than he had when he found out his parents abandoned him. In the end, Seungmin couldn't find anything conclusive-- because soulmates were _so_  complex, but he could offer one word of advice to Changbin now-- "You can fall in love with whoever you want to fall in love with. You don't always _have_  to listen to the stars-- they _do_  make mistakes. _Everything_  makes at least one mistake."

"If I loved Jisung, I would have seen the galaxy already." Changbin said. Seungmin and Hyunjin were silent for a moment, looking at each other. No one had mentioned Jisung before that. Changbin didn't seem to notice.

No one had any time or breath to mention it. Seungmin had to leave at the sound of frantic knocking, and everyone had to catch their breath when Jeongin came screaming into Seungmin and Hyunjin's dorm, berating soulmates and love at the top of his lungs. It took ten minutes to calm him down and get him to explain himself-- and even then, he was hardly legible, "I saw it-- the galaxy-- I saw it! I saw it but he's not mine! I don't have a soulmate! I was never _allowed_  to have a soulmate!"

"What are you talking about? Jeongin." Hyunjin attempted to calm Jeongin with a stroke of his hand across Jeongin's back. Jeongin wailed into the empty air, "I saw the galaxy in Chan-hyung's eyes!"

They understood why Jeongin looked like he was falling apart. They understood why he could barely hold himself together. He had always been so intrigued by soulmates, and found out from a young age that he wasn't destined for anyone. Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Changbin all understood-- were starting to understand-- that _soulmates_  weren't synonymous with _falling in love_. Did Jeongin?

No one would find out until morning. Jeongin locked himself in Seungmin's bedroom and cried himself to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changbin had never had to describe anything as a disaster before; but Seungmin and Hyunjin woke him up in a worried frenzy of "Where's Jeongin?" and "Have you seen Jeongin?" and that was the start of a disastrous morning.

It continued peacefully with Changbin asking his own questions, "He's not here? What time is it? Where would he have gone?"

"I don't know. He was such a mess last night, though, I'm worried." Seungmin said. Hyunjin comforted a hand against Seungmin's waist, "I'll call him," and left to grab his phone. Seungmin sat down and shook his leg anxiously until Hyunjin came back and sat next to him. Hyunjin's palm flattened against Seungmin's leg and he stopped shaking. Changbin studied the constellations on their necks and thought he was starting to piece together, in general, what soulmates were to one another.

"I should go home." Changbin muttered, sick with the thought of soulmates. He hadn't even met his yet; he'd never gotten a chance to fall in love with his soulmate. He almost envied Hyunjin, except he thought of his father and knew he should be more grateful than anything. He hugged Seungmin and Hyunjin goodbye with promises to see them in a couple of days, when the weekend was over.

Changbin ventured home without thinking of anything--except for the music he tucked into his ears. He still didn't want to go home. Perhaps he should have spent a Saturday night with his friends as well, but he would be embarrassed to go back and ask to stay another night with Seungmin and Hyunjin. He thought about going to Chan, except he was probably with Jeongin and Woojin, talking about love and trying to figure everything out as well. Changbin was stuck between going home and seeing Jisung, and he'd rather go home in the moment.

( _Everything_  makes at least one mistake.)

Changbin was tormented with questions when he got home, like "Where the hell were you last night?" and "Why didn't you answer your phone?" and his father was pretty easy to calm down when the excuse was right, except Changbin told his father "I was with my friends," and decided not to leave out the details about "We were talking about soulmates last night, and-- it's complicated. One of my friends fell in love with my soulmate."

"You met your soulmate?"

"No. My friends know him."

" _Him?_ "

Changbin's mouth fell open in shock at his own stupid words, his fingers falling limp around his cup. Luckily, he had just picked it up from the sink, and it didn't crash too hard against the bottom. He turned around, and he told his father, "I-- they told me-- yes."

"Don't joke around," his father said. Changbin wished he had the courage to lie, to laugh and say "I'm sorry. My soulmate is actually a girl, don't worry--" but if soulmates meant what he thought he meant then he might consider trying to prove his father wrong after all.

"I'm not--" Changbin stopped. He remembered something Seungmin had said about Jisung the day before-- about the fact that Jisung had met his soulmate. Changbin never got his answer-- never got to know if Jisung fell in love or not. He hadn't talked to Jisung about soulmates in two weeks. He'd seen Jisung six different times. Something told Changbin that Jisung had seen his galaxy.

A wrench turned Changbin's heart on its head, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He looked into his father's eyes, and a tear tore at his expression. Again-- a recurring theme for the past couple of weeks-- Changbin couldn't think of anything. This time, though, his mouth moved, and without the filter of his mind his morning fell deeper into disaster, "Dad, I-- I'm in love with someone. He's not a girl, and he-- he's not even my soulmate. He's _not even my soulmate_. The stars made a mistake-- they made a _mistake_."

Changbin was laughing and crying and he felt like a tornado had torn through his heart. His father was staring at him with the most shocked expression, and his next words turned his tornado into a hurricane-- "I don't think the _stars_  are the mistake."

Changbin ran out of his home, and got lost anywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeongin and Changbin were still missing on Monday.

Jisung worried over both of the boys when Seungmin called him on Saturday to ask if he'd seen Jeongin at all, because Chan and Woojin had no idea where he was. He was even more worried when Changbin wouldn't answer anybody. Seungmin explained that he and Hyunjin had told Changbin about soulmates. Jisung asked if they'd mentioned Minho at all. Seungmin told him he hadn't had the courage to say it.

"I'm an idiot," Jisung mumbled to no one and anyone-- to himself, and to his friends. He lay across Chan's constellation-- pretty and stagnant against his shoulder. He had cried through Chan's shirt _and_  his jacket, and now he was tired beyond believe. He kept on muttering, "I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I bothered him so much. I knew he was uncomfortable. I knew it--"

"Stop." Minho said. Jisung looked at him. Minho opened his arms, and Jisung was almost too tired to transfer to him. Chan helped him, giving him a little shove in Minho's direction. Jisung fully collapsed against Minho, chest over knees, head against thighs. Minho's arms were left empty, but they lay against his back and massaged gently into the stressed area. Everyone else sat around silently. It wasn't until Jisung's mumbling started up again-- "I'm so stupid--" that someone else spoke.

It was Woojin, "Why exactly did Changbin run off?"

"He didn't. He just went home. I have no idea what went wrong." Seungmin said. He was stressed, and playing with both of Hyunjin's hands. Felix was massaging his fingers into Hyunjin's shoulder. Minho and Felix were sitting side-by-side, occasionally looking at each other in a lost sort of way. Neither of them knew Changbin well. Neither of them knew the situation well. They were rather new to the group of friends-- had only been in the group for three and five months, respectively.

"Why did Jeongin panic so bad last night? Did you catch why, babe?" Chan asked, looking to Woojin. Woojin shook his head, "I have no idea."

Seungmin and Hyunjin looked at each other for a moment, worry in their expressions. They weren't sure if it was their place to say it-- if it was their place to tell. Chan caught the expression, and asked, "Hey. What do you guys know about it?"

"He came to us last night," Seungmin said, worrying his teeth into his bottom lip. Woojin's expression ignited with shock; Chan's, too. They wondered, "Was he okay?" and "Where is he now?" but neither Seungmin nor Hyunjin could answer their questions. They just looked at each other again, and worried.

"I hope they're together," Felix offered a few words of comfort. That seemed to calm everyone. The idea that they were together was much better than the idea that they were both suffering alone. Still, no one knew what was wrong-- save Seungmin and Hyunjin, but even they didn't know the full story. They supposed the full story was too complex for _anyone_  to understand-- but having Changbin and Jeongin around would at least fuel their journey to piecing it all together.

"I'm going to call him again." Seungmin muttered, searching for his phone. Hyunjin found it for him, and pressed it into his hand. Everyone held their breath, anticipating an answer. He called once, twice, thrice. Silence existed on both ends of the call.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I think that's even worse, hyung-- to have your soulmate fall in love with someone else. At least mine won't betray me like that." Jeongin said, his soft joking bringing a laugh to Changbin's mouth. The two of them had found each other in the middle of the day-- when Changbin decided he was hungry and went to buy some snacks. He found Jeongin sitting outside of the convenient store, with his legs curled against his chest. He'd sat next to Jeongin, and handed him a bottle of milk. He drank it, and Changbin ate his chips. They swapped after two silent minutes, and didn't start to talk until they were finished.

They spent hours together. They talked about soulmates and explained their situations to one another. They got to know each other, the more they complained about love and spit on its good name. They laughed together over their bitterness and tried not to cry over their pain. Jeongin played with the constellation on the back of Changbin's hand and told him, "This looks a lot like Jisung-hyung's," and Changbin said, "I think he was meant to be my soulmate," and Jeongin nodded, "That makes sense. You seem like you'd be good for him," but he couldn't tell exactly why when Changbin asked "How so?"

Changbin's phone started to ring at around the time their friends would be having lunch. Changbin and Jeongin both stared at it as it rang. For the first six rings, up until the attempted call ended, Changbin and Jeongin stared at the device in silence. The second time, halfway through, Jeongin wondered, "Should we answer?" and Changbin didn't respond until a third call came, "I don't think so."

"I wish I wouldn't have freaked out so bad when I saw the galaxy on Chan-hyung." Jeongin said. He played with the rocks beneath his hands, picking them up and letting them fall against each other. The two boys were in the corner of the park around the block from their school. They'd been on their way there when Jeongin saw the park and decided he'd much rather play than face his problems. Changbin couldn't agree more.

"I just-- I never expected to see something like that. I was so happy when I saw it-- but then I remembered that he had Woojin-hyung...." Jeongin's face fell against the rocks with an exasperated sigh-- loud and heavy, a groan slipping through its cracks, "I don't understand. I don't understand why the stars are telling me to be with someone who already has a soulmate."

"I don't think they are." Changbin said. Jeongin looked at him, and Changbin rattled off words relating to what Seungmin had told him the day before, "I think the stars are telling you that you're falling in love, and that Chan-hyung is good for you. I don't think it has anything to do with being meant for him or-- anything, really. It's just-- you could work."

Jeongin lifted his head, but he was silent otherwise. Changbin took the time it was silent to reach over, and rub dirt off of his forehead. Jeongin closed his eyes as Changbin did, and smiled; and when he opened his eyes, his smile slowly faded. He had something more to say, "Do you want to know something weird?"

Changbin nodded.

"I saw the galaxy in Woojin-hyung's eyes, too."

That shocked Changbin. That meant Jeongin was falling in love with two people, and that the stars thought he would prosper with both of them. Changbin wondered if they saw the galaxy in his eyes, too.

"Do _you_  want to know something weird?" Changbin asked. Jeongin nodded. Changbin had a hard time saying it, but since this morning he'd come to accept it-- "I'm in love with someone who isn't my soulmate-- and I _know_  I'm in love with him... but I've never seen his galaxy."

"Jisung-hyung?" Jeongin asked quietly, and Changbin nodded. Silence took over. This silence was comforting. All the silences of Saturday had been so uncomfortable; and a lonely Sunday had made the silence nearly unbearable. With Jeongin, though, the silence was sweet--was fresh air blowing through his clothes without chilling him to the bone--was a car driving by, letting Changbin know that life goes on.

"I think if you had a soulmate, Jeongin, you'd be mine." Changbin said. Jeongin frowned, "But you have one," and pointed to Changbin's hand. Changbin shook his head, "No, no, that was a mistake. I think it was a mistake. I don't know him yet, but-- I think you'd make a better soulmate."

"I thought you were in love with Jisung-hyung," Jeongin said. Changbin explained, to him, what having a soulmate meant-- what he _thought_  having a soulmate meant. By the end of it, Jeongin's jaw was open, and a calmer expression had taken over his longing eyes. He agreed, "I think we could be soulmates, too," and then he sat up, and told Changbin, "I think we should go back. I think we should talk to the others."

"I think I'm scared to talk to Jisung." Changbin said. A million questions plagued him-- _What if he fell in love with his soulmate? What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if I rejected him one too many times?_  but Jeongin gripped his constellation and told him, "I _know_  I'm scared to talk to Chan-hyung, and Woojin-hyung. But I think we can do it. I think we have to."

Changbin didn't like the sound of that, but Jeongin made it seem less terrifying. Soulmates, indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Chan-hyung? Woojin-hyung?" Jeongin would have lost it if anyone else jumped to hug him as quickly as Chan did; and he would have lost it if any other two people had smothered him with hugs and worry, but he could only feel content at the way Chan and Woojin held him, at the way they asked "Are you okay?" and "Where have you been?" and fretted over him. He couldn't help but feel happy.

 

 

Changbin no longer had a choice. If he were to turn back now, he had nothing to go home with-- no proof that his father was wrong about the stars, and the way stars made mistakes. Changbin closed his eyes, and breathed. _The stars made the mistake, not you. You didn't do anything. You're fine_. Changbin almost wished he knew his soulmate, so he had an anchor to keep him on his feet. He remembered Jeongin, and exhaled. He was good enough.

 

 

"I'm okay. I just-- I have something to tell you." Jeongin said. His voice was serious enough that Woojin and Chan took the hint--that his story was going to be long, and he was going to need time to say it. The crack in his voice was enough to tell them that it was going to be an emotional ride. They took him to their couch; they brought him water; they sat on either side of him. Jeongin looked at both of them-- Chan first, Woojin second; Woojin first, Chan second, and he prepared himself to start.

 

 

Jisung looked like himself when he opened his door for Changbin. Changbin had been expecting something different-- like a sparkle in his eye, whether from happiness or the galaxy. He almost expected Jisung to have someone on his arm, or attached to his constellation. He almost _wanted_  something to be different so he had an excuse to run away; but Jeongin's words ran through his mind-- the soft _Don't be a coward_  accompanied by possibly the most out-of-place forehead kiss Changbin had ever received. He almost smiled, but he was facing Jisung, not Jeongin; and found that he'd rather laugh instead.

 

 

"I saw the galaxy." Jeongin said simply, shyly tucking his hands between his thighs. Chan and Woojin were silent; Jeongin peeked up to see that they were looking at each other. Woojin asked first, "In who?" and Jeongin looked between them. He was scared. _Hell_ , he was scared. He didn't know how to do this-- he didn't have a soulmate-- _"I think if you had a soulmate, Jeongin, you'd be mine,"_  and Changbin helped him breathe-- "In both of you."

 

 

"Why are you laughing? Changbin, I was so worried about you--" Jisung punched Changbin in the shoulder. There wasn't a whole lot of force behind it, and Jisung's fist was weakly formed. Hot tears started to stream down Jisung's cheeks, and Changbin stopped laughing. He opened his arms for Jisung, telling him "I'm so sorry. I just-- a lot happened yesterday and-- I had the worst morning I've ever had in my life."

Jisung's face distorted into a sort of unreadable pain. He didn't accept Changbin's arms. Changbin was starting to believe, more with each second that passed, that Jisung had fallen in love with his soulmate.

His arms fell weakly.

 

 

"Did you see it in me?" Jeongin asked before Chan or Woojin could say anything. He wanted the worst news first. He didn't want to hear the pity; he didn't want to hear the "Oh, Jeongin..." and any higher a volume than Woojin had whispered it. Woojin and Chan looked at each other, and Jeongin felt the tears coming, felt the tremble of his lips. He stood, and he wanted to get away-- wanted to run to Changbin and ask him _"Can we go away again?"_   but Woojin gripped his right hand, and Chan gripped his left, and Chan said, "Jeongin, don't leave," and Woojin said, "Jeongin, stay," and the floodgates burst.

He fell back weakly.

 

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jisung asked. He'd pulled Changbin instead, and now he was standing with an angry expression on his face. His arms were crossed over his chest, "I know I keep bothering you about-- but I'm still your best friend. You didn't forget that... right?"

Changbin saw the hurt in Jisung's eyes, the pain in his expression, and things were starting to make a little bit of sense. Changbin thought to clarify, "You think I don't still think of you as my best friend?"

"I think I pushed you past your breaking point."

 

 

"Baby, we didn't know how to tell you," Chan said, tracing his fingers over Jeongin's thigh. Jeongin's head was spinning as Woojin and Chan tried to explain everything at once. Woojin started with, "We knew you didn't have a soulmate--" and Chan continued with, "And we really wanted to respect the fact that you'd come to terms with that," and Woojin "And we had _no idea_  what it meant," and Chan "And we were honestly so scared to hurt you," and "We thought about telling you," but "We didn't want to get your hopes up-- or freak you out," and We had no idea what it meant and We really thought something had gone wrong and We tried to do some research but we couldn't figure anything out and We just had _no idea_  what to do--

"Did you see a galaxy in me?" Jeongin finally broke in. Woojin and Chan answered at the same time, "Yes."

 

 

"It wasn't you. _Trust me_ , it wasn't you." Changbin said. He sat on Jisung's couch, and gestured for Jisung to sit with him, too. He didn't. He sat on the floor in front of Changbin and leaned against his legs, and looked up at him and waited for his story. He looked like a puppy begging for attention, except there was nothing _begging_  about his expression. He was concerned.

"Jisung--" Changbin laughed. Jisung cut him off, "Tell me. If I'm still your best friend, tell me."

Changbin breathed. His eyes closed for a second. He gripped Jisung's hand for support, "I have a lot of issues with my dad."

 

 

"You really-- you saw the galaxy in me? Both of you?" Jeongin asked, looking between Woojin and Chan, looking for any sign that they were lying. They both nodded; they looked at each other, and at him. Tears filled Jeongin's eyes, threatening to spill over any second. For once, his tears weren't sad, or pining. They were happy, and they were fulfilled. He looked between Woojin and Chan again, and made sure, "Really?" and Woojin told him "We wouldn't lie to you, baby," and Jeongin cried his joy against Woojin's shoulder, with Chan's hand splayed gently across his hip.

 

 

"I know you do. That's why you had such an issue with--" Jisung gestured wildly, and sighed, and leaned against Changbin's thighs again, "And that's why I never should have pushed you. I don't know what I was thinking. I was so selfish."

"Love is something we're all selfish with, Jisung. I think it is." Changbin said. He laughed a little bit, "I told him. I told my dad. Hyunjin and Seungmin told me that Felix is my soulmate and I told my dad-- and I told him that... I told him that I'm in love with you."

Jisung's lips fell apart.

 

 

"Seungmin's calling you again!" Felix called with a hint of a laugh in his voice. The bathroom door opened, and Hyunjin peeked out-- hair wet from just leaving the shower. Hyunjin glanced briefly at his phone, and asked, "Can you answer it for me, babe? I'll be out in a second."

Felix nodded, and answered Hyunjin's phone as said male closed the bathroom door. Seungmin was a mess of words right off the bat. Felix listened to each and every one, hardly processing any of his worry, before he said, "Hyunjin will be out of the bathroom in a minute."

"Felix? _Oh my God_." Seungmin groaned, "Felix, stop answering Hyunjin's phone! And tell him to hurry up! I'm _so_  worried about Changbin and Jeongin. Has anyone heard from them? Felix? Did you put the phone down? _Felix!_  I hate you!"

 

 

"I know karma's going to bite me in the ass right now, and you're going to tell me about your soulmate--because Seungmin told me you met him. I understand, and I'm going to cry but I'm not going to be sad forever. I made you wait for too long and this is just what I get. I know Hyunjin is in love with _my_  soulmate, so-- I'm just going to have to find someone else. Even Jeongin is probably happy with Chan and Woojin by now so I don't know what I'm going to do, but--"

"Hyung," Jisung said. It was his turn to laugh. He reached up and gathered Changbin's cheeks in his hand, effectively cutting his words into a muffle, and then into nothing. He laughed all the way through telling Changbin, "Seungmin is in love with _my_  soulmate."

 

 

"Jeongin is with Chan and Woojin." Minho said, turning his phone to face Seungmin. Seungmin practically dove into Minho's bed, snatching the older's phone from his hand to read the messages. Woojin, Chan, and Minho all had a group chat, and they were all messaging back and forth about the whereabouts of Jeongin and Changbin. Woojin said _Jeongin is with us_ , and Chan said _Jeongin sent Changbin to talk to Jisung, so I assume that's where he is_ , and Seungmin felt like he could breathe.

"You're sweet." Minho muttered gently, brushing Seungmin's messy bangs out of his worried face. Seungmin fell limp against his front, "I was so worried. I was _horribly_ worried. I should have just told Changbin that I stole you before Jisung could."

"Technically, babe, Jisung's had me all along," Minho said, and he laughed when Seungmin slapped his chest.

 

 

"Seungmin is in love with your soulmate?" Changbin repeated, still mumbling through squished cheeks. Jisung laughed happily, "Yes. My soulmate is Lee Minho, but-- he and Seungmin are together. They fell in love after a month-- same as Felix as Hyunjin. Kind of cute, huh? That two soulmates fell in love with different people in the same amount of time?"

Changbin nodded. Jisung looked at him for a silent moment, and then he brought Changbin in to kiss him. It was sudden, but it didn't feel out-of-place like Jeongin's earlier kiss--which, granted, was an unwarranted forehead kiss, but still. There was an obvious difference between this kiss and the last; because _this_  felt more like the touch of a soulmate than anything else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changbin went home with a brave heart and enough proof to overturn the stars. He walked home with a hundred things on his mind, but none of them gave him the numbing sensation he'd been feeling this past couple of months. Each one gave him a little more courage, and prepared him a little more for whatever this outcome may be.

He thought about Jeongin as he made his way down the street. He thought about the time they spent in the park together. He thought about the fish chips they ate and the banana milk they drank, and how none of it really mixed, but both were too emotional to care _what_  filled their void, just that _something_  did. He thought about how, at the end of their day together, Jeongin had been the one to fill his void after all; and he thought about how happy he was that he had soulmates, now.

He thought about Seungmin, and how he rambled on and on about how worried he'd been about Jeongin and Changbin, about how he was going to storm over to Changbin's house and demand that his father find him and fix whatever had gone on. Changbin asked how he knew it was his father's fault. Seungmin said, "You can't stay away from Jisung for more than a day, even when you are upset at him. I knew it had to be something _bad_. Actually, I thought you were dead--"

He thought about his soulmate, who he still had yet to meet. He wondered how this ordeal would have been different with him-- _if_ it would have been different with him. He felt as if Felix would have brought to him the same emotions that Jeongin would have-- courage, incentive. Changbin almost felt like Felix was giving him courage _now_ \--just looking at the constellation on the back of his hand pushed him further forward.

On his doorstep, Changbin thought about Jisung. He thought about how they weren't soulmates. He thought about how they were just best friends-- _the_  best of friends, and how they were more than that, now. He thought about how much he loved Jisung, and how much he'd always loved Jisung. He thought about the galaxy, and how he'd never seen it in Jisung's eyes-- and he thought he may have seen the galaxy in Jisung before he even knew what a galaxy was.

( _"I may not **see**  a galaxy when I look in your eyes, hyung, but I feel one." -- I feel it too, Jisung. I feel it, too_.)

Changbin bravely entered his home. He didn't expect his father to be awake, and he was correct to assume he wasn't; except he didn't exactly expect his father to be on the couch, either. His father was a light sleeper-- had been since his mother died-- and he stood up upon seeing his son. He said, "Changbin," still and awkward. He stood there with his hands at his sides and a surprised expression on his face. He cleared his throat, and told him, "I was-- worried. Where did you go?"

"I went to prove you wrong." Changbin said bravely. The man frowned, but Changbin didn't stop, "I-I don't care what you think, dad. I-- actually, I do. I care a lot because-- you're my _dad_ \-- but I went to prove you wrong. I think that the stars _do_  make mistakes. I talked to all of my friends and _none_  of them are in love with their actual soulmates--except for Woojin and Chan, but -- they're in love with someone who doesn't even have a soulmate! And they're _all_  boys! And that's okay! I've decided that that's okay and I don't care if you think so because-- we don't have to agree. But I do want you to accept that-- to accept _me_ , because I'm in love with my friend, dad. I'm in love with Han Jisung, and he's not my soulmate, but--"

Changbin knew he was rambling, and he paused, and took a breath, but didn't stop himself, "I don't think soulmates are what you made me think they are. I don't think you know what a soulmate really is. I don't think I do, either, but I know that they aren't the only people you're meant for. I'm doing just fine without my soulmate-- and I know I'll meet him one day, and I know I'll _need_  to meet him one day, but I made it this far without him, and I'm fine. I think-- maybe he isn't even really my soulmate. I think the stars _did_  make a mistake, even if this was their only one."

Changbin didn't completely remember everything he'd said by the end of his rant, but he thought he got his point across. His chest was heaving and the emotion set in, but he didn't back down. He couldn't. He'd proved his point, and whether or not his father believed him--

"The stars don't make mistakes," the man said. His expression was stern enough that Changbin figured everything he'd just said had gone right over the man's head-- but a smile formed soon enough, and he told Changbin, "There's just... much more to the world than the stars, I guess."

Changbin was overcome with emotions, and as soon as his father lifted an arm, Changbin was against his chest, and he was crying into his father's shirt. He felt like a child for all the emotion that had left him in the past couple days, but he also felt like he'd grown a lot-- in ways of love, and in ways of intellect.

And he felt his Jisung had really helped him with that.


End file.
